A Mother's Guilt and a Miracle

We have had a wonderful summer, but a couple of weeks ago, something happened that has changed our lives and our outlook.

This is also something, that I have had a hard time bringing myself to write about it...it was just a couple of days ago that I was able to sit down and write about it in my very own journal. It gave me severe anxiety and reliving the event isn't one I enjoy doing, for many, many reasons, of which you will see after you read about it...but as parents you are responsible to provide, protect and love your children. And to tell this story makes me vulnerable and shows to everyone that I failed in my responsibility to my child, I have to admit fault and then try to deal with the guilt that comes with that. But along with the bad...comes A LOT of good and so here I go....

A couple of weeks ago, we had to the opportunity to go to Lake Powell with Ty's parents, brothers and their families. Before leaving I was a little freaked out about taking Owen and having him on the house boat. We joked, but with all seriousness said Owen would be living in his life jacket the whole time we were there. Which he did....EXCEPT...for one instance...we were vigilant...vigilant in watching him, vigilant in keeping his life jacket on him. He was never out of our sight...never went without his jacket...EXCEPT...for Friday night, our last night there.

We had come in from boating, I had put Owen in his pajamas, we had just finished dinner and the boys had just come in from fishing, where they each were able to catch a fish, with Uncle Treavor's help. We were basking in their glory, snapping photos and enjoying the moment. Then everybody decided it was time to rinse off and bathe in the lake...Owen picked up his water gun and was standing by his bucket shooting everyone with water, like he had down all weekend....with one exception...we were STUPID and did not put his life jacket on him. The bucket was sitting in the opening of the gate, and the gate was not shut....stupid I know. I was sitting right by him...BUT...walked ten steps away to put the soap away that Tyler had just used. Everyone was on the back of the boat, Treavor was on the swim deck, Larry was standing behind him, Todd just on the other side. As I had my back turned...Owen slipped off the deck onto the swim deck, trying to catch himself, he slipped again and fell into the lake, under the swim deck. I heard everyone scream...and the commotion and turned around and ran to the side of boat...the image that haunts me daily is looking over the side of the boat and not seeing Owen...what seemed like an eternity was merely only seconds before Owen was being lifted out of the water...I reached down and yanked him out of the water, holding him tight, now both of us dripping with water. I remember as they brought him to the surface thinking to myself that there was brightness or a light around him, I thought for a moment how strange that was, as it was just about dusk...but didn't think more of that until later. Owen cried for just a moment, didn't throw up any water, wasn't even choking....a blessing that at the time I hadn't even considered. I was hysterical, I wouldn't let him go, I sat there in shock and cried...Owen kept sitting back and looking at me, like...what is wrong with you. We sat there for a moment and then I took him in and changed him, got him all situated watching a movie and had to leave the room. Ty and I went outside and lost it...sobbing in each others arms, we had almost lost our baby...by our own stupidity. I was blaming myself...Ty blaming himself, we were a mess. No matter what everyone was telling us, we had an intense amount of guilt. After trying to gain control of our emotions we went back inside to see Owen, being as cute as ever...not taking his eyes off the movie...shoveling little pieces of chips into his mouth. Ty and I sat there, watching him...ever grateful that he was okay...the cuter he was being...the more the tears flowed.

As we went to bed that night, Ty and I knelt in prayer, thanking our Heavenly Father for saving Owen that night, but also asking that we would be able to forgive ourselves and get over the guilt. It was a sweet prayer, a sweet moment between Ty and I, that I will never forget. Going to sleep that night was very difficult...everytime I closed my eyes I kept replaying that moment where I ran to the side of the boat and he wasn't there...and then my mind would wander to the what if's. I finally fell asleep only to be awakened by my sweet tearful Tate, who had also had a hard time sleeping, saying that everytime he closed his eyes that is all he could see as well. We talked for a moment, and told him that we were going through the same thing, he laid with us until he felt better and then was able to go back to sleep. The next morning, Owen woke up, still laying in his playpen, not knowing anyone was listening, said...in his sweet voice..."I'm okay, I'm okay, I fell in the water, but I'm okay", he will randomly drop on you occasionally...I fell in the water, or I fell off the boat, that is heart wrenching...he does remember it and he remembers how scary it was.

A Miracle....
Saturday night after we returned, we went to Todd's to pick up some ski's. It wasn't until then that we realized just how truely blessed we were. We got talking to Todd about what had happened...nothing was said afterwards, so this was the first time Ty and I heard about the details from people who had seen it happen. Todd then told us, that he was going to say it, but that was the only time he was going to tell the story. After Owen had fallen in, Todd dove in the water, certain he was going to be able to grab him ...he was right there. He went to swat at him and all that was there was water, he opened his eyes and it was black, you couldn't see anything, he started to wonder if they were going to be able to find him, he then opened up his eyes again and there in the water was glow or light illuminating around Owen's body so that he could see him and grab him, and lift him out of the water. That same glow or light that I had also seen as Owen was coming up out of the water. A miracle, angels...whatever you want to call it, my baby was saved by angels. Someone else was there that day watching out for my Owen, making it possible that he was seen, in an otherwise dark lake. Angels, angels my Heavenly Father had sent to light up the lake so that Owen could be seen and saved. Angels saved my baby, it was a true miracle. In one instance our lives could have been changed forever. Something else that I hadn't thought about that night, was the now scary fact that we were still on the buoy. The boats engines had not worked so we spent the weekend floating on the buoy in 250 feet of water. Instead of being on a beach somewhere in 15 to 20 feet or less of water. If they would not have grabbed Owen in those first few seconds, I know they never would have found him. It is not like we could have dove down to the bottom to find him...he would have been gone. A thought that makes me sick inside. We were seconds away from losing our baby. We received countless amounts of blessings that night.

Since that night, there hasn't been a day go by that it hasn't crossed my mind. The what if's and the guilt are a constant. Owen is a physical reminder of all that we have...but also all that we could have lost. I will admit, Owen, already pretty spoiled...probably is a lot more so now...whatever you want miracle child!!! We are just so grateful to be so blessed with the miracle of that night. We were seconds and miracles away from losing our baby...how stupid...HOW STUPID. I will never ever forget or forgive myself for being so careless. I will never forget the hand of the Lord in my life. Owen has a lot in store for him and I truely believe he was saved for a special mission in life and it is confirmed to me over and over again.. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of that awful moment, lucky for me I can then also think of the angels that saved my baby and lighted the way for those to save him. After being so close to the prospect of losing a child, I am not sure how someone ever gets over losing a child and losing a child in that way...but I am certainly grateful and feel very blessed that someone else was watching out for him and our little family that day and I don't have to find out.

Growing Pains...

Tate is on the countdown to the BIG Birthday...12 years old...WHAT??????

2 1/2 more weeks and our oldest child will be 12...finishing up Sixth grade this week and moving onto the Middle School. And I would love to say it's all sunshine and roses, but my soon to be 12 year old, has taken on the dreadful attitude of a soon to be teenager...and if you ask me a year too soon...

One minute he is happy as a clam, your best pal, having enjoyable conversation...making you laugh...the next minute, totally pissed off, giving you the cold shoulder, thinks your totally lame, has totally shutdown and on the verge of a meltdown. Huh??? I thought I wouldn't be dealing with this...I don't have girls..

For whatever reason...hormones, his parents are lame or he is just having a bad day and needs more sleep...I'm about done...unfortunately I think it just started...I have told him that I don't like this Tate and want the other Tate back!!! That will usually get a smile out of him...but sometimes even that is a stretch....growing pains....

Tate is SUPER social and loves to hang out with his buddies and of course "the girls". The girls and girlfriends have been a BIG part of Tate's life all year. His teacher told me I need to watch him because the girls won't leave him alone. One girl in particular has been a thorn in my side all year...telling Tate one minute she likes him and the next not so much...or liking his friends instead...leading Tate on a roller coaster, and although it doesn't seem to affect Tate's self worth...it sure makes this mom mad. Well, finally after months and months of this...Tate has moved on and is liking this darling girl...super cute and she has liked Tate for years. Well, last week Tate decided to play a bit of revenge on the other girl, telling her he liked her again and breaking up with the other one...not okay!!!! When I found out I was mad...I told him to go to school and fix it...I stewed all day about it...mad as mad could be...my boy wasn't going to treat girls like that and he wasn't going to hurt the girl that really liked him...not okay...ya, I was over the top that day, but my boys aren't going to be so rude, hurtful and careless with a girls feelings. He came home from school and we spent the rest of the afternoon talking about what had happened and why it was not okay. Then Tate apologized to both girls and fixed it with the one...and they are back to liking each other and the other girl that believes she can play Tate...got a taste of her own medicine and is sitting there wondering why she didn't treat him better.....growing pains...these little people trying to learn these things can be painful, but lessons they need to learn...and hopefully we don't have this happen again.

Talk about taking a shot to your ego...I consider myself to be a pretty happening mom...if I could rate myself...I think I would be pretty high on the coolness factor...well, Tate took right care of that. A couple of weeks ago Tate's grade went on a field trip to In N Out burger and then to Hill Air Force Base. Tate asked me to come, I was so flattered that he wanted me to come. After realizing that it would probably be my
last opportunity with my oldest child and recognizing that I was almost certain I had never been on a field trip with him I agreed to go. We load on the bus and as I go to sit on the bench with Tate and his buddy, he looks at me like...you are not going to sit here and totally embarrass me...oh yes I did...he wanted me to go sit up front and away from him...but I told him he wanted me to come and I was going to be him...that's why I came...

Talk about taking a hit on your ego and coolness factor!!! I am pretty certain Tate survived the embarrassment and hopefully it wasn't as bad as he made it seem...and I hope he enjoyed my company....but you never know with him these day...

Serious growing pains....someone tell me when they stop?????

Talents...

My dear friend, Jen recently called me and asked me to participate in her lesson on Sunday, asking me to talk about a talent she felt I had. I first told her she had the wrong person because I have no talents...don't sing, can't dance and she has the most amazing talent and ability to teach and give the most awesome lessons...yep, not that talent either. So really, sorry Jen, you have the wrong person...but she insisted I did and then spoke about my blog and the talent I have with it. Haha...I had never thought of my blogging as a talent...just a way to try and journal the goings on in our little family. Trying to capture those moments...good and bad. As I thought about what I would share I still wasn't sure of the talent factor...just something I enjoy. But as I thought about the people's blogs that I like to follow, they definitely have a talent for blogging, not sure if I possess that talent. But I enjoy writing about the boys and sharing with our family and friends the funny things they say and do and their accomplishments.

My boys are my greatest treasure and I enjoy telling their stories...so I am not sure if it is a talent or my boys just making me look good...

Takes Brains....

So, I have been a slacker, but I got an IPad 2 from my fabulous husband on Mother's Day and I was super excited because I thought it would produce and inspire more blogging...shortly after Mother's Day, I sat down all excited that I was going to be a better blogger...only to be completely annoyed when I couldn't get it to type in the appropriate area...annoyed I played around trying to make it work...nothing.

Well, it takes brains as I sat here today and pushed one measly little button, HTML...to compose my entry and voila...here I am...takes brains...let the blogging begin!!!!

Milestones....

Baby Owen....Little "O"...is not such a baby anymore...Over 2 1/2 years old...turning 3 in August...all signed up for preschool...Has reached numerous milestones in the last couple of weeks...

Finally attending nursery by himself!! No more excuses to miss Sunday School...no more distractions...does that mean I have to listen like an adult???

No more bottle and just last night went to bed with no zsa zsa's (binkies)

...I know, I know, I know what you are thinking...he's almost 3...

ZIP IT, he's my BABY!!!

Not only does he have one binky, he has numerous binkies...ALL of his binkies have holes in them and yet he still sucks on them...yuck!! He puts the rest in between his fingers and holds them there....I know...a lot strange...but yesterday morning, like most mornings, when he woke up I told him we needed to throw those binkies away...he was a big boy and they were ruining his teeth. He only has his binkies when he takes a nap or goes to bed, they stay in his bed all day. He seemed to be in agreeance yesterday morning, even last night when I was getting him ready for bed...he agreed. But as soon as I laid that poor little boy in his bed last night...he was in a frantic search for his zsa zsa's...."where is it"..."find it mom"...around and around in his bed...throwing the blankets trying to find just one...looking underneath his crib...searching down the sides of his crib..."where is it...find it mom"...it was HEARTBREAKING!!!

I'll admit...I wanted to give in and just give it to him...he is my BABY, ya know...who cares if he has his zsa zsa's till he is 16...he's my BABY!!!

I kind of got him settled, replacing the binkies with his baby boy cabbage patch doll and of course his Ironman race car...he layed down...and for about two minutes didn't make a sound...then he started to cry....after a few minutes I went in...and he was again frantically searching..."where is it mom...find it"...same routine...under the blankets...under the crib...down the sides of his crib..."find it mom"....I tried to talk to him...tried to explain...laid him back down and left the room. He continued to cry...so then Dad went in...same routine..."where is it"...under the blanket, down the sides of crib...in the saddest little voice..."zsa, zsa, zsa, zsa, zsa, zsa"...Ty came out his room and looked at me and said..."why did you have to take away his binky...that is the saddest little boy I have ever seen"....thanks, TY!!!

Just as I was about to go in and give him his binkies back and whatever else he wanted to make up for my mean mom ways...no more noise, no more crying....he went to sleep...disaster diverted, for last night, anyways.

No more binkies...hasn't said a word about it today...we will see what tonight brings but as for now...we are binky free...

Another milestone in our lives...no more babies...no more bottles...and no more zsa zsa's....

More traveling....

Last weekend Ty and I went to Scottsdale, Arizona. Ty had a Medicare group meeting with his Medicare attorney...and I tagged along.

It was heaven...80 degree weather the whole time we were there...

We stayed at the Camelback Inn...fabulous!! I enjoyed some much needed time to myself. Sat at the pool and soaked up the sun and service...ALL DAY!! Read a book, listened to music...just vegged!! We went to some Spring Training games...yummy food...alone time and togetherness...can't ask for anything better for your relationship...I love it!! Sorry no pics...we were too busy enjoying ourselves. Can't wait till the next time....

Winter Travels...continued...

4 days after coming home from Disneyland, Ty and I packed up again and went to Seattle for a family wedding. We left the boys home with Toni and enjoyed a vacation from our vacation with NO kids!! (I think we will be doing that from here on out!!)

We went with most of the adults in my family, everyone but my sister. It was very fun!! It was fun to visit family in Seattle and spend time with them. And it was fun to be with just the adults from my family.

Highlights of our trip....

Nasty Denny's in the wee hours of the morning....Alone time with the love of my life....Remembering why I love the love of my life...

Turning a church gym into a magical evening for the bride and groom....watching Robert stand on a ladder for WAY too long!!! Laughing...laughing harder...

...inappropriate U-turns...hitting the curb...HARD...in the rental car...

....saw True Grit....Outback Steakhouse with the fam from Seattle....enjoyable conversation....shopping at Victoria Secrets with siblings...NOT AN ADVOCATE...DON'T SUGGEST IT!!! Tyler's bumbershoot...inappropriate conversation...

...the beautiful Seattle Temple....the miracle of no rain during pictures...happy couple....Shawn the phone stealer....sexting...inappropriate texting...laughing...laughing harder....the look on Robert's face....priceless....

Tyler...the life of the Party...

Tyler's congo line through the reception...Tyler & Todd's amazing tricks...Tyler catching grapes in his mouth that were being thrown from across the gym during the reception...

everyone cheering....over/unders....

Tyler's standup comedy act waiting for the bride and groom to leave...

....singing..."Tonight's gonna be a good night" as they left the reception....

....good time hanging with siblings...dancing the night away...those crazy Utah mormons...PURE EXHAUSTION hitting and still having to help clean up the reception....

Good food...good times at Melanie's....visiting with our fav families in Seattle...unfortunate goodbyes...IHOP all you can eat pancakes...

enjoying a fantastically fun weekend with my family....enjoying spending time with the love of my life...and loving every second of it...loving that he made me laugh the entire weekend...and returning home to my three favorite handsome faces....

Photo Ops...

good memories....

Winter Travels...

Lucky for us our Winter was full of some traveling to help make those long cold days seem bearable. After not having much of a Christmas Break because we were all sick for the whole week. It was very happy that we headed to Disneyland on January 5th. Ty's mom and dad gave the family for Christmas, airfare and some cash to put towards Disneyland tickets. It was super fun to take them on the plane instead of our usual driving to Disneyland. Tate had been on a plane, but a long time ago. For Davis and Owen it was their first time flying. They loved it...and I love to listen to Davis talk about it, I think he thinks he is the expert now on flying. We had 4 day passes to Disneyland and I couldn't be happier. I love that place!! It is quite a site to see the group of us making our way through Disneyland...Ty's family has no girls, all boys...3 sons and 8 grandsons. We had a fun guest with us this year, my nephew Braxton's girlfriend Toni. The boys absolutely adore Toni, (she tends our boys for us alot!!) So we did have a little more girl power than usual...which is a welcomed addition to our testostorone world. This photo op is one of my favorites...the Disneyland photographers stopped us and asked if they could take pictures of the boys for some kind of picture slideshow they are going to start running...aren't they handsome....

I love this picture....the boys were told to make a funny face...check out Owen looking to see what Braxton is doing...

and then....his funny face...
Just like Big "B"...I love these boys. My two older nephews, Connor and Braxton are absolutely darling with my boys. Because they are so much older, they are more like uncles than cousins, they were Owie's best friends in Disneyland!!! Aunt Heather kept the boys hopping onto all the rides...making sure no time was wasted...she is the best and the boys LOVE her!! Davis got to ride California Screamin' for the first time and LOVED it!! Toy Story Mania, Soarin', Big Thunder and Splash Mountain are at the top of our lists of favorites.

We had a great time and can't wait to go again!!!

Love, love, love these little faces...

It's been a week....

A big homework project and Relief Society Activity in one week made for a long week....

I found myself sitting on the couch this morning after taking the kids off to school, staring off into space....decompressing....Ty came out and asked what I was doing...the tv wasn't on and I wasn't doing anything...just sitting there. I didn't have an answer, I was just trying to make sense of this crazy week.

Tate had his Newspaper Book Report due Wednesday, and in true Tate fashion...he saved it for last minute!!! LOVE HIM!! We have been bugging him for weeks to get it done. He finished the book Sunday, but the report had to be in Newspaper form, 4 pages with all kinds of requirements to be included...an obituary, a sports section, feature stories, headline stories, classifieds, editorials, advertisements and a HAND DRAWN political cartoon!! Tate hates any kind of art. So you can only imagine what his political cartoon looked like!! It was a project!! Thank heavens for a new computer and Microsoft Word that has a newspaper layout format!! That probably saved our lives!! Ty and I were up till 1:30 formatting and perfecting this after Tate went to bed at 11:00 giving us all the content he needed!! Glad that one is done...although, that means that the History Fair is around the corner...and everyone that has had Mrs. Long says the History Fair is the Grand Daddy of 'em all!!! Lucky us!!!

Whilst trying to get Tate's bookreport done, I was in the middle of getting ready for our Relief Society Birthday Social on Thursday!! We did invitations ALL day Tuesday!!! I am often surprised how much time and effort goes into one of these activities. I am also surprised how much heart goes into it as well. I am also surprised how disappointing it can be when you don't get the attendance you were hoping for!! It was fun, we did The "Purse" suit of Happiness and it was fun. We weighed the sisters purses and then played a purse scavenger hunt game....my favorite item on the list...a used kleenex...and we had three cute moms run up with one!!! Dinner was good, and the decorations turned out just as cute as we had hoped!!! It was a great night and I love the ladies in my ward. I just have to keep reminding myself today, that the ladies that were there, enjoyed it and had a great time and that is what is important...and here's to hoping that next time we will get more ladies there!!!

Random Thoughts...

Went to Junior High Registration with Tate and signed Owen up for Preschool all in the same week. ;( Not okay!

During that same week Tate had the 6th grade dance...and couldn't have been more happy about it. Some boys opted out of the dance, Tate thought they were crazy!!!

I sent my kids to school today with crazy hair...NOT crazy hair day at school today...it's next week!!

Why is it that a new computer always costs more money than just the computer????

Had to break it to Tyler he wasn't some punk kid like he thought he was having a meeting with some Mayors from the area and wondering if they were going to listen to what he had to say...punk kid and all. Actually, had to let him in the on the secret that he is actually middle age....


Was just told by my 11 1/2 year old that he doesn't need to be told how to cross the busy road...mom, I am going into 7th grade, duh!!!

Why didn't I make it to the gym today?? Seriously, what is my problem???

Just received a warrant for Tyler's arrest in the mail...he forgot...or maybe chose not to pay a ticket he received in Clearfield...perfect....just because you didn't agree with it...doesn't mean it is going to go away!!!

What's for dinner?

The big snow storm didn't make an apperance here.

Why is it that my 2 year old can go around blowing a whistle and it is pretty cute, but if Tate or Davis were doing it, they would be told to stop...not so cute then.

Davis has been entertaining the ladies all afternoon...the boy knows how to work it!!!

Where did February go???

Hope Tate wins his Super League Tournament game tomorrow...single elimination makes for a quick exit if they don't come to play!!

Friday night affair...moving computers...desks...furniture...enjoying the company of two funny preteen....girl crazy...sports crazy boys...babysitting nieces...what else could you ask for on a Friday night....we are livin' the dream....

So glad tomorrow is date night....and it can't come fast enough....

"Worst Day of my LIFE"

This is the conversation had in the bathroom while brushing their teeth by Tate and Davis after what may have been the worst of day of their lives up to this point...they didn't know Ty was listening in.

Davis..."sheesh, I am glad this day is over. Today was a bad day."
Tate...."yea, I know, me too."
Davis..."Today was the worst day of my life."

The worst day of their lives started out like any normal Saturday...sleeping in, basketball games and hanging out together.

The boys ran around outside, had a little lunch and then I put Owen down for his nap. Keeping in mind nobody has been sick at our house since the week after Christmas. I then laid down myself to have a little rest. Just over an hour into his nap he woke up crying, which is unusual. I went in to get him and he wasn't standing or sitting up in his bed, also unusual. When I went over to the bed, things didn't look right nor feel right. I tried to put his binky in his mouth and he let it fall out of his mouth. Starting to get alarmed, I picked him up and tried to stand him up in his bed, his legs collapsed from underneath him, I tried to talk to him and get him to respond and he wouldn't, his eyes were glazed over and he was looking right through me. I was starting to become very alarmed. I held him in my arms and his entire body was limp, he had no motor skills. I felt like I was holding a lifeless, dead baby. I stood at the top of the stairs for a moment, wondering if I was overreacting, but a sinking feeling kept telling me something was very wrong with him. Tyler was downstairs asleep on the couch, when I got down there I told him, something is wrong with Owen. As he stood up to come see him, Owen started to convulse and tremor laying across my lap. I was in complete hysterics by now. Tate came out of the playroom to see this also, and then both boys, Tate and Davis were also in complete hysterics. Tate couldn't stop pacing and they were both crying, "no, no, no". Ty called 911 and was on the phone with them while waiting for the ambulance to arrive, during that time he convulsed again. He was never really with it, and wasn't even crying. He had no motor skills and could not use his hands or arms. It was by far THE SCARIEST thing I have ever been a part of. The paramedics were wonderful, while one helped me with Owen, one was working with Tyler, but most importantly one was over trying to console Tate and Davis and explain to them what was going on, I will never ever be able to thank them enough for their concern shown to Tate and Davis.

Owen was transported up to Primary Children's Hospital. When the paramedics arrived at our home they took Owen's temperature it was 99.8, when we arrived at Primary's it was over 103. Owen had what is called a febral seizure. A seizure caused by a fast oncoming fever. A fever that is coming on so fast your body can't handle it. Keep in mind, Owen wasn't sick and I checked him to see if he was warm when I got him out of his bed, wondering if that was why he was acting so weird. To my touch he wasn't even warm. The other crazy thing, Owen didn't even get sick in the days to follow his happy emergency. THE CRAZIEST thing I have ever seen!!! They treated Owen with MOTRIN and watched him for about an hour. It took him some time to come out of it, but within 1 1/2 hours he was talking up a storm and running around the hospital. THE CRAZIEST thing I have ever seen!!! Owen now stands a 30% higher chance of having another febral seizure again...yipee!! They are pretty common...not so common here!!

I think Davis hit it right on the nose that night, it was the WORST DAY of our lives. But, how grateful we are for Owen's health and that everything turned out okay. We are also so grateful for our loving family who came running to the hospital to be by our sides when they heard.

Our little Owen, he scared us pretty bad. And man was it a reminder just how fragile life is....
that was the worst day of my life.

But, how grateful I am for these four handsome, HEALTHY faces!!!

Technology...who woulda thought....

It is amazing to me how much you don't realize something is wrong until you have something better...

My computer has been limping along for quite some time now. Struggled through football and the some 7700 photos added during that time, trying to keep up my football blog duties became quite a challenge...I haven't updated my blog because the frustration of a lame computer wasn't worth the time. But as of most recently, no memory and I slowly started to lose capabilities...virus protection GONE...inability to send emails GONE...and as of most recently...couldn't print from the internet, just GONE.

What a difference a new computer makes...so no promises here, but it just might be the difference maker...maybe I might just update my blog!

2 Months gone By...

Two months have gone by since I last posted....and we are barely breathing!!!

Football and school have consumed us, eaten us up and have spit us out!!! I can't believe we are now sitting in October...13 days into October none the less.

Tyler and I have become those people that have filled just about every waking moment with FOOTBALL, Bingham Little League football to be exact. Ty got sucked into coaching, so that Tate's coach from last year could get Tate, and I was sucked into to helping with Team Mom duties...unfortunately, those helping duties have become more like full-time duties. Davis and Owen must believe they have THE best mom ever because they get to spend 2 hours of just about each day at the park playing!!!

If I said the coaching and team mom duties were awesome...I am lieing!! I actually hate the coaching thing. I am usually a single mom until 9 pm, most evenings, Ty and I hanging out at the park during football is gone, my insanely intense partner is standing on the sidelines during games instead of nervously pacing the sidelines with me, Owen has a standing babysitter on Saturday's because I can't do him, football and pictures all by myself. I know Ty has enjoyed it, so I can't hate it that much, but I definetly don't like it!! The team mom duties just about killed me over in the first few weeks...but that has mellowed as well, at least for now. Things are about to explode as playoffs and end of year things are coming!!!

But, oh it is all so worth it when I see Tate do so well!! He is having an amazing year!!! He is playing both ways, offense and defense again, and does not come off the field. He is playing middle linebacker on "D" and halfback/running back on "O", he is the defensive captain and is a true leader on his little team. It has been fun to be his mom this year, as every parent on our team has complemented Tate and his abilities on the field, and go on and on about how good he is!! He is so fun to watch and he loves it so much!!



At the end of each week, we find ourselves, exhausted and wishing the weekend hadn't passed so fast. Ty and I try to find time on Saturday's to spend it together. And are grateful that Tate sees the importance of giving us that time, sometimes begrudgingly, but as soon as we say, how many days did we spend at football or helping you with homework, he obliges!!! He is a good kid, with a lot going on. I had a meltdown yesterday over Tate. Sixth grade is HARD!! And I know all of you with older kids say just wait...but with football and the teacher that is deemed the "hardest" teacher in the school, Tate is barely breathing. I feel bad for him, he has no life, he has no down time. He comes home from school, starts his homework immediately, Monday he had no football and he was doing homework from 4 till 10 pm!!! On football days he does his homework until he goes to football and then comes home and does homework till its time for bed, shoving down dinner somewhere in between there. School has come so easily for Tate, but this teacher is really pushing him and his scores show it, but as a mom I am trying to sit back and not panic about things, hoping that it will all come together in the end and he will be better because of the harder stuff he is doing. I love his teacher, she is super sweet, but she will have Tate whipped right into shape when it is time to start 7th grade...and that is what I have to keep telling myself!!!



Davis is doing so well in the 1st grade!! He has a great teacher as well and really seems to be loving it. He loves that he is big and can have lunch at school!! I love to watch Tate and him get up in the mornings and get ready for school side by side. This is the only year that they will be together like this in the mornings and at school. After this year they will always be in different schools!! That is kind of sad!! I love to hear Davis' stories about recess and happenings in the class!! His teacher has told me how good and mellow he is in class and is always so respectful!! That is one thing about Davis, he doesn't like to embarrassed, so he will be on his best behavior...until he gets home of course!!!

Ty and I do the "divide and conquer" on homework...that sucks!!! We come home from football, I fix dinner, Ty helps Tate and Davis with homework, we eat, we clean up, Ty helps Tate with Math and I help Davis with reading. We put the kids to bed and go and crash on the couch downstairs...too exhausted to even talk...we pull ourselves to bed and then get up and do it again the next day!!!

We are livin' the Dream!!!

But, today we go off track for 3 1/2 weeks and I am pretty certain I am more happy about it than my boys! So for 3 weeks we get to do NOTHING...other than football of course!! But when we go back on track...football will be over!!!

Livin' the dream....

111 Miles...on a Road Bike!!!

For about a year Tyler has been contemplating getting into Road Biking...concerned with the cost and time involved, never took the opportunity. In the Spring our neighbor offered a screaming deal on a Road Bike and group to ride with. There are about 10 or so guys in our neighborhood that road bike and go in the mornings. I handed him the cash and told him to go get the bike.

This past Saturday Ty and his "Chain Gang" as they liked to be called...suited up in their matching jerseys and rode in the Ulcer Century Bike Ride around Utah Lake, starting and finishing at Thanksgiving Point. 111 looonnnggg miles...6 1/2 miserable hours spent on his bike seat. He was very nervous about doing it...his longest ride before this...a one time 60 miler the Saturday before!! But just in Tyler fashion...he gutted it out and finished it and finished it in a pretty respectable time!!! I was pretty darn proud of him. Ty and I are very grateful to his great group of friends that pulled him along when he didn't think he could go any farther!!! The wind was BRUTAL!!! But he was able to finish...and actually didn't even die after!!!

I think if he were to admit it he surprised himself, is extremely proud of his accomplishment...and I think he would even do it again!!!

Nice Job TY!!!!

Terrible Two's!!!!????!!!!???!!!

oWeN is tWO!!!!

Today is Owen's Birthday!!! and NO, I am not okay with him turning 2!!!

I am not sure where that two years went...but it is gone and left in its path is a FIESTY two year old, with serious TANTRUM throwing ability!!! He has a smile and eyes that will melt your heart, but a mean streak that can make me want to put him up for sell!! He loves "Coaly", "Tate" and "Du" (Davis), he always wants to know "Where's Dad?" or whomever might be absent from home. I love it when he scrunches his nose and when he pulls the "I'm shy card". He loves to swish all beverages around in his mouth and will sometimes hold them there longer than he should. He loves Woody, Buzz and Bullseye, Al (Alvin & Chipmunks) and his new favorite movie is Coal aka Bolt!! He believes that he is as big as the boys and can get down right mean if you try and tell him different. Every drink is called "watey", and he will only have a bottle before bed, and he will only have it with me. I love it, I have to admit, that is OUR time to snuggle together, and so for the time being, it will continue...because for those few moments every night he is still my baby. He is still a dream to put to bed and still takes good naps!!! A minute ago he asked me, "what doing?"!! It took him a long time to really start talking, but now he can say just about anything!!! Owie HATES nursery!!! Last week he laid in the hallway in front of the nursery saying NO, in very dramatic fashion, lifting his head, covering his face with his hands and then putting his face on the ground and yelling NO!!! Over and over and over again. If you said anything to him, he would do the whole rendition again!! It is awesome!!! Right now, yep, he is hitting me...on the verge of going into time-out, now laying on the floor throwing his play phone, now yelling at me!!! I love this age!!! Yelling louder as I ignore him!!! But I wouldn't trade any of it for the world. Each age and stage brings me so much happiness, and a little bit of sadness!!! He is growing up faster than the other two. Life is good again for "O" his brothers and dad have returned from football, he is standing in the door, yelling a happy hello to all of them!!! The tantrum is over and life is good again!!! We are officially out of the baby stage here at the Peterson home...looking forward to that new adventure of raising our three handsome boys!!! We can't wait to be first in line to see what this FIESTY two year old becomes!!!

HaPpY BiRtHDay OwIE!!!

All-Star Status...

Tate had an amazing Baseball year!! He had an awesome coach, an AWESOME UN-DEFEATED season and was also chosen to play on the All-Star A team for Bingham Baseball. Tate played short-stop and was the A's closing pitcher.

Half way through the year Ty and I were wondering where this kid came from...making amazing plays at short-stop, pitching in tight, high pressure games...and hitting like we had never seen him hit...triples...doubles and inside the park HOMERUNS...what??? We kept telling ourselves and warning Tate...your going get in a hitting slump, it's gonna come...it never came during the regular season. Tate's team finished 14-0, 1st Place in the League and a position on the All-Star team. Tate's coach from the A's was asked to coach the All-Star team...and we loved him...Coach Mitchell had played college ball and the boys on our team loved him. He was awesome!!!

All-Stars started out VERY slow...pulling 11 kids from 8 different teams and trying to have some cohesiveness was hard. Tate started out the tournaments hitting like he had all season...but by the 2nd and 3rd game you could see his confidence dwindling at the plate...he started striking out. We as mom and dad, tried not to let it worry him, tried to talk to him, but Tate is a hard one to break through...he always said, nope everything is okay...but as mom and dad, we clearly knew it was getting to him. We only won one game in the Hunter-Cyprus Tourney and headed into the State Tournament a lot discouraged!!!

The team as whole...was struggling...so was Tate's hitting game. Tate still played awesome in the field and pitched well...but the hitting game had left him...just in time for the State Playoffs. I found myself, as a mom, just wishing he would get a hit, I didn't care if they won, my kid needed a hit...just for his confidence!! It was heartbreaking and it was killing me to watch him struggle at something that seemed to come so easily all year.

Your pool play determined your seed in the final round, and we didn't do very well, we only won one and lost 2, placing us as a 7th seed. Championship Saturday we played that morning at 9 and ended up winning that game pretty easily, winners moved on to play later that afternoon... Tate still struggling at the plate. After that game, I asked Tate if he wanted to maybe go to the batting cages and hit some balls, with concern on his face...but trying not to let on...he was very anxious to go. I took him over and he hit the ball like he had all year...4 rounds of great hitting at the batting cages...I guess that is all it took to get his confidence back and for him to see the ball, because in our second game that afternoon he was back to his awesome self...doubles, triples, RBI's!!! We won the second game of the afternoon and then played back to back in the Championship game against American Fork!!! Tate went 6-6 in his batting in those two deciding games!!! But not only that, he again had an amazing fielding display, making many outs in the Championship game. As the 5th Inning was getting underway, Tate was put in as the pitcher...I wanted to vomit!!! At the time we were down 2 runs...Tate didn't allow any runs while he was pitching and went into the bottom of the 5th inning and hit a 3 run double, hitting in the go-ahead run in. He then was sent back out to the mound to finish the game in the 6th and final inning. With some amazing fielding plays and outs by fellow A's Teammates...He struck out the final out...helping the Bingham Miners win a State Championship!!! IT WAS AWESOME!!!

2 weeks of insane baseball...trying to get ready to leave on vacation for two weeks...post-poning the beginning of our trip to play more baseball...trying to manage Owen for hours and hours at the baseball field...a black-eye (another story...another day).

..........All worth it to see my son, my All-star, struggle so much, but then be able to suck it up and pull it back together was AWESOME!! That was a very proud moment for me an Ty, we didn't care if he won, (we did love it), but all we wanted was for him to feel good about himself and the way he performed.

That Tate of mine is growing up faster than I can stand!!! I am so proud of him, I am so proud of his accomplishments and I am so proud that even when he is struggling with his own game, he is always there to lift his teammates up and cheer them on!! It was a very rewarding day as a parent...and it was all worth it!!!

Baseball Boys!!!

Tate and Davis both played baseball this year...but instead of posting about it...I just sat back and enjoyed it, and it was a crazy spring with both involved. Davis played his first year at machine pitch...and it was...well...painful... Not because of Davis but because the Bingham league has it set up to play a 1/2 year machine pitch, 1/2 kid pitch... which means for the last half of the year it was AWFUL!!! The pitchers could hardly get it across the plate, but they couldn't walk anybody...and none of the hitters rarely struck out...anticipating the fact that their coach would come in and pitch to them after 5 pitches... so it took FOREVER!!! There were a number of games that Davis got up to bat 1...ONE...UNO times to bat...not so fun!!! By the end of the year Davis told us that he didn't want to play baseball next year!!! But he certainly looked cute in his uniform and he loved being as big as Tate...something he has been anticipating for years!!! And he did tell me the other day thaaaatt...he might play baseball next year!!!

Hope ya like it...

Instead of using my time today to UPDATE my blog, I seem to get lost in the small stuff...like changing the layout and the colors and trying to figure out why my blasted picture won't post correctly...but I seem to have it all put together and now...at 5:54 pm...I am out of time!!!! Just kidding...but with all that I have to say...I shouldn't have wasted my day!!!
Hope ya like the changes...

You're a Joke...

My Davis has been really trying my patience lately...

I am not sure what kind of a stage he is going through...but it is not good!!!

But the problem with Davis is there is no conventional way to handle him or his behavior. Lately, he has turned into Mr. Tattle Tail on Tate...and is a constant thorn in Owen's side...

I believe he thinks if he DOESN'T make Owen scream he has failed...

But as of most recent he has decided that it is okay to talk back...give you "total" attitude and completely disregard what you are saying or doing...

Ty must be on his wave length...and it explains a lot of where Davis came from...but Ty thinks he is just pushing buttons because of the attention that Owen or Tate may be getting at the time...middle child syndrome...

Which I am sure is partly true...so I have adjusted my way of handling him...I pause and then screech...but mostly I am just trying to give him more love!!!

But on certain days that can be extremely trying...a couple of Saturday's ago we were all just hanging out in our bed...Davis started to give total attitude and was being a smart mouth and kind of talking back to me...I...in my nicest mom voice asked him nicely to cool it...and if he didn't he would be sent to his room in timeout...at which point he looked right at me and with TOTAL ATTITUDE said...."You're a JOKE"...yep...yes he did...yep, you heard it right..."YOU'RE A JOKE" mom and nothing you say to me really has any regard to me...a joke...a total joke...

Tyler started to smirk but quickly got it under control when he looked at me with steam coming out of my ears and sternly sent him to his room...

Was it funny...yea...one of the funnier things he has said...but oh, it made me so mad...because unfortunately, I think he really feels that way about me...Tyler is about the only one that can send fear into him...and so whatever I say...must be a total JOKE!!!

Davis also never lets you know that whatever punishment he is getting...doesn't bother him...

If I ground him from the WII...he didn't want to play it anyway...If I ground him from playing with friends...he wasn't in the mood to play anyways...If you threaten his baseball game...I don't want to play anyway...always trying to have the upper hand on you and what you are trying to do...

That weekend was a brutal one for us and Davis...he spent a lot of time in timeout that weekend and since then has been better behaved...

One thing that we can say to Davis that will bring him back from Hell...is we want the "REAL" Davis back...and he will think on that and then usually will realize that what he has been doing is not okay...and he will bring the real Davis back...thank heaven's for the REAL Davis because that other one is a JOKE!!!!

Easter in Zions....

This year I made sure that we had plans for Easter...that we actually made it out somewhere in the trailer...somewhere warm...

Back in February I called and made reservations for the Peterson Trailer clan in Zions. Little did I know when making the reservations that we would be burying my Grandma at the same time. The day after my grandma's funeral...we hugged my cousins from Seattle goodbye and started on our mad dash to get the trailer loaded for our trip. We were supposed to leave on Thursday, but with Grandma's funeral we were unable to leave until Friday.

It was nice to get on the road and try and relax after hours of packing and days of chaos with family and funerals and such. It was also a good drive to reflect on my grandma's life and the memories I have of growing up, living so close to them.

Zions was a perfect, restful vacation...what more could my boys ask for, than 4 days with their cousins...

We even went hiking...not something that this girl likes to do on vacation...but it was fun and the boys seemed to have a great time. But mostly...it was a laid back, relaxing, no pressure vacation to enjoy in our trailer.

Here are some photo ops...side note: my camera was dead Easter morning...thus no Easter pictures...I used Heather's camera but have not gotten those from her yet...

And here are the Peterson Grandsons...eight of them...8 Grandsons...NO GIRLS!!! And if you asked the boys...they would say NO GIRLS ALLOWED!!! I love this photo....

Obviously, no Easter trip is complete without dying Easter eggs outside the trailers and playing baseball, lacrosse, riding bikes and just hanging out...

On Easter Sunday we went to Ty's Aunt Dorothy's house and had lunch with MOST of Ty's family. Ty's cousins from Las Vegas came up and it was fun to see them and their cute families. We did an Easter egg hunt with all the children and it was fun to visit and catch up those that we don't see very often.

We had a great time and can't wait to go in our trailer again...